« Previous Issue | Main | Next Issue »

January 26, 2006

January 26, 2005

In honor of our AWOL theme poster, today's theme is the letter D.

Permalink · Comments (3) · TrackBack (0)

Jim: Feeling D Graded

Donna dreaded report card days.

During school, Donna daydreamed of dancing instead of doing division. Disco dancing dominated her desires.

Daunted and distressed, she dragged home to face the dire dilemma of displaying her grades to Dad. Doubtless, Donna dared not dodge the danger.

“I’m doomed,” Donna decided, ducking into the door.

“Why so down in the dumps, Donna?” asked Dad.

Donna daintily displayed the dastardly document.

“Damn!” Dad declared as he discovered her math grade.

Donna defiantly defended herself. “What’s the big deal?” she demanded demonstratively. “So I got one darn, despicable ‘C’!”

(Donna’s teacher grades on the curve.)

Permalink · Comments (0) · TrackBack (0)

Laurence: Rat Killer

Each operative was named for a letter of the alphabet. As one died, each agent shifted a letter and a new agent took the name of A.

Nobody retired.

Headquarters sent out a Rat Alert. "D has turned. Kill."

Z took the assignment. The Z always killed Rats.

A week later in Nairobi, Z pulled the trigger.

Perfect shot.

"Rat killed," reported Z.

"That was F," said Headquarters. "Don't you remember the promotions last month?"

Z looked over the body. "Oops."

Y hunted him down in Finland.

"Why?" said Z, dying.

"Not Y," said Y. "My name is Z now."

Permalink · Comments (0) · TrackBack (0)