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November 04, 2005

Volume 8, Issue 4

Searching through today's pile of mail, you find an invitation to....

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Laurence - Wild card

A frog-footman bows, croaks "Harlequin," and hands me a letter.

I thank him and open it.

Wonderful. There's another damned croquet match at the palace.

I crumple up the note from the Red Queen inviting me to stay away from the party and toss it in the footman's green face.

He ribbits and coughs.

"You're looking for a tip?" I ask him.

He extends a flipper. "Sir?"

I smack him in the face with a pie and slam the door.

By leaving me out, that royal bitch proves once and for all that she's not playing with a full deck.

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Ted: Greetings From Mephistopheles, Inc.

Dear Sir or Madame:

We are happy to offer you this once in a lifetime offer. For a mere 65% of your immortal soul, we will grant you three wishes.

These wishes can be for ANYTHING!

But that's not all! For a single 1% more, you get ten more wishes!

You read that right, thirteen wishes for only two-thirds of your soul. YOU keep the rest.

But there's more!

You also get access to the knowledge of the universe and training on how to ask meaningful questions.

Disclaimer: offer limited by heat death of the cosmos or the second coming.

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