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November 01, 2005

Volume 8, Issue 1

The prodigal son returns... but something is wrong.

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D: Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-rah

The door to the pub swung open and in limped Patrick.

"Patrick!" his father cried out, dropping his pint of Guinness onto the bar top and knocking Jimmy Murphy and Seamus O'Brien aside in his rush to greet his son. "Aw Patrick! Y've been gone so long! Back frae the war at last!"

Patrick limped in with a sour look on his face and rested his weary body into the embrace of his estranged father.

"But... you're limping! Beggorah lad, ye never mentioned you were wounded in Iraq!"

"I wasn't. I stubbed my toe on the door jamb just now."

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Laurence - Sent for takeout

Shubblurbpop's slave-vessel landed, quickly blackholing its shattered jumpcore before disgorging its human cargo for processing.

"Ship's a wreck, Your Slimeness" said the spaceport administrator. "Where's the rest of your fleet?"

"Lost it," said Shubblurbpop. "Bad maps."

"Good luck explaining it," said the administrator.

Heading back home, the oozeway was busier than usual, but Shubblurbpop arrived before Mudfall.

"Announcing Shubblurbpop!" shouted the palace pages.

"Um... I wrecked the fleet, Dad," said Shubblurbpop.

His father writhed pseudopods in annoyance, but Queen Pipblipshububble soothed his rage and welcomed her son home.

"Did you bring Chinese?" asked the Queen.

Shubblurbpop nodded.

All was forgiven.

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Ted: The New Gods, Part Eight

Sulek exited the Abbot's car, his heart heavy. His sister was in hospital, terrified over what she had seen. His attendants opened the hospital doors and he glided inside, knowing only that his sister was on the 333rd floor, seven floors beneath his tread. He heard his mother's voice before the freight elevator doors opened. He was forced to take that elevator due to his sheer size and weight. The ferrocrete of the hospital floors seemed to groan with his passing.

"Mother, I've returned."

Every soul on the floor bowed before him, begging blessings.

"You've done enough, Holy One. Begone."

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