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October 24, 2005

Volume 7, Issue 24

You're in the middle of a category 3 hurricane, the rain is pouring down, the wind is gusting hard enough to rattle the windows. Suddenly, there's a knock on your front door...

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D: Made With Real Girl Scouts

"Who was it?" my wife asked.

"Girl scouts" I replied, pushing another two Thin Mints into my mouth. "I guess they were trying to offload their stuff; I figured it was a good opportunity to stockpile."

My wife looked at me incredulously and put down the hammer and nails she had been using to seal off the windows. She walked through to the lounge and saw the three crates of cookies I'd just bought.

"If you bought all this, what's left to weigh her down against the winds?"

Just then we watched as a girl scout flew by the window.

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Ted: Schroedinger's Knock

"What the hell?"

Peter rolled over, his wife still asleep. "Better get that."

Sighing, Peter put on some slippers. Answering the door, Peter saw a tiny calico kitten. But no one was there knocking. He looked out into the driving rain, " Nope." Then he looked to see if there was any damage from whatever the wind knocked against the door. "Nope," again.

Picking up the cat, he went inside, the wind gusting spray at his back just the door slammed. "Jane? What shall we name your new kitten?"

"Storm," she answered, still asleep. "She'll be handy when the fire comes."

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Laurence - Reality blows

The show is called Weathering The Storm.

The producers own homes all along the Gulf Coast.

Once they know a hurricane is heading towards one of them, we're dropped into the nearest house.

Well, actually, they're just run-down shacks. No better than a house of cards.

Cameras… canned food… bandages…

Body bags.

Survivors share five million bucks. Less survivors means split fewer ways.

It's a big storm. Maybe even too big. Category two… three…

The producers are banging on the door, telling us we have to get out.

Everyone flees with them.

Except me. I know it's a trick.

Suckers.

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Michele: Les is More

"Knock Knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Les."
"Les who?"
"Les Nessman!"

"Oh. She drawing blanks again?"
"Yep."
"Come on in."

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