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August 25, 2005

Volume 5, Issue 25

The rules o'the day: dialogue only, two characters, involving the idea of "condiments."

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Laurence - The Adventures of Mustard Man - Chapter 14

"Justice League isn't answering, Mayor Bloomberg," said the assistant.

"Have you tried paging?" said Bloomberg.

"Twice," said the assistant. "Most are old numbers. One was a pizza delivery guy, and another was someone offering me a dimebag."

"Have you tried calling that Mustard Man?" said the mayor.

"Um, all he has is mustard," said the assistant. "No super powers."

"Just mustard?" said Bloomberg. "Then why is he a superhero?"

"He isn't," said the assistant.

The mayor leaned back in his chair and sighed. "What's the number of the guy selling weed?"

"The usual?"

"Yeah," said Bloomberg. "And a pizza, too."


Ted: The Aftermath

"I can't beleive you wrote about the mayo!"

"It was funny, come on..."

"No, you come on. I can't help it. Ever since that time in the third grade when Kenny Birkstrum hit me in the face with mayo at lunch."

"That was thirty years ago! It was an accident."

"IT WAS NOT! I saw the way he looked at me just before the mayo pack burst. He knew it would happen."

"Look, babe, I'm sorry I wrote about the mayo. I didn't know that it was an issue. I'll delete it."

"No. It's got a great rating, leave it."

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