August 21, 2005
Volume 5, Issue 21
What are these gargoyles talking about?
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Ted: The View
"That new building."
"You mean the eighty year old one two blocks down, Theo. Yeah, You may have mentioned your distaste for it a few times."
"Roderick, just look at it, use those eagle eyes. It is an abomination. There is no reason to build something like that, ever."
"If you hate it sooooo much, why don't you do something about it? I mean, we are made of stone, you could bust it up pretty good if you would get motivated and get off your granite ass. I'm tired of your bitching about it."
"Alllllrightythen, here goes."
Michele: Stoned in Love
“That’s my third broken heart this century. I’m such a loser.”
“Aww, you’re a great guy...”
“I’m a flying monkey in a fez.”
“Need I remind you she’s got no arms?”
“But she’s got that face.”
“I’ve seen better.”
“You’re a bird. What would you know?”
“I know beautiful. I used to crap on the most gorgeous statues when I was alive.”
“So, you going to Apollo’s party?”
“So I can watch her stare at his package all night?”
“Man, you’re really pining.”
“Can’t even kill myself.”
“It’s called eternal punishment for a reason, bud.”
“Thanks for the reminder.”
Laurence - Built like a brick...
Bubba stepped back from the finished structure and wiped his brow with his cap.
"Nice outhouse," said Cletus. "Purty, too."
"Thanks," said Bubba. "No damn tornado's gonna knock this sucker down. I used rock-solid stone."
"What's with them statues on top?" asked Cletus.
"Gargoyles," said Bubba. "Looked sorta like that Notre Dame church, so I reckoned that it needed some gargoyles."
"Mind if I try it out?" asked Cletus.
"Go right ahead," said Bubba.
Cletus walked up to the outhouse, and then walked all the way around it.
"Where's the door?" asked Cletus.
"Door?" said Bubba.
Cletus laughed. Bubba didn't.