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August 19, 2005

Volume 5, Issue 19

Tell the truth: a scene from a dream you had last night.

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Laurence - Firewall

I don't remember dreams. I wish I could, but I can't.

You see, Symantec was beta-testing a firewall product, and I fell asleep with my face on the keyboard. Somehow, my brain downloaded the firewall, and I blocked my dreams out with an iptables rule.

Oh, they're still there. Just blocked.

So I called Symantec, and forty minutes later I'm talking to some Indian:

"How am be helping you?" he says.

"I firewalled my brain," I said. "I'm blocking my dreams now."

"My dreams dot com?" he asks. "Dot net? Dot org?"

In the end, I was told to reboot.

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Michele: Roll Over, Paul Krugman

We flew through a dark sky, enjoying the feel of soaring like birds, when we saw a ledge on a white mountain. On the ledge lay an enormous coffin, partly covered with dirt. An inscription read:

Paul Krugman. Died 1812.

I said, “Whoa, Paul Krugman lived before! I wonder what he wrote about in 1812?”

One of my fellow flyers tipped the coffin over. Krugman's corpse came tumbling out and flipped over the ledge, bounced down the mountain and landed in a grassy field where it stood up, dusted itself off and proclaimed, You have not heard the last of me!

[This is actually an old dream. Last night's is none of your business]

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Ted: Les Nessman Copout

Les Nessman to Mr. Carlson: "I dreamt about you last night Mr. Carlson...I dreamt you were a big, fat muffin. And you sang a little song...it went something like this... 'I'm a big fat muffin that has no feet, a big fat muffin that loves to eat, but most of all I'm a big fat muffin that LOVES to explode!'...and then you did!"

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