View All Issues« Previous Issue | Main | Next Issue »
August 06, 2005
Volume 5, Issue 6
Today's theme is "a barrel".
Laurence - An ode to Frank J of IMAO
Want to know what's more fun that a barrel full of monkeys? Watching the idiot trying to put them in there.
Okay, so you put a monkey in the barrel, close the lid, and grab another monkey. Sure enough, the monkey you got in there will escape the moment that lid comes off.
Frank has an easy solution to this: He kills the monkeys.
Sure, you could tranquilize them, but Frank really hates monkeys. And he really likes killing them.
By the time he fills up the barrel, well, he's had about as much fun as he could possibly have.
Ted: The problem with time travel...
Floating in this stupid barrel was not my greatest idea. Bringing you along was even stupider. Why do I have to sail through time and space with such a dolt? You won't even speak. For a zillion gaddamned years we have been floating around out here, trying to reach the bottom and still we fall. I thought after the first billion years or so you would never shut up, now I can't make you talk at all. This little invention of yours has let us sail the ocean of time, but dammit, you didn't mention that we couldn't get home!