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July 23, 2005
Volume 4, Issue 23
Today's theme is a supernaturally useless, yet creatively useful, character Tarot reading.
Click on the link above and then incorporate cards ten, eleven, and twelve into your 100 words. To find out what the cards mean, hold your mouse over each.
Laurence - The Death Of Chivalry
Darkness!
"Damn fuse!"
"Voltmaster hates visitors!" The Hermit growled. "Cautions to you!"
Sir Arthur nodded. "Wear my magic helmet, Lucy."
"But..."
"I insist!"
For hours they walked through Grimwood. Then, they came to a clearing.
Within, Voltmaster's Watchtower stretched into the stormy sky.
"Shall I knock?" said Arthur.
"Is it safe?" asked Lucy.
Before Arthur could respond, lightning struck the tower, shattering the battlements and raining stones on the couple.
"I guess not," said Lucy. "Arthur?"
He lay dead on the ground, skull crushed.
Lucy screamed.
Safe at home, she put a penny in the fusebox.
Light!
Ted: I thought Tarot was for preteen Girls...
"In a situation like this, I always ask myself, what would my hero Edward R. Murrow think? And I think that Ed would think that this was censorship. Then I think about what my other hero, General George Patton, would think, and I think George would think that radio and television ought to be cleaned up, and if he were alive today, he'd take two armored cavalry divisions into Hollywood and knock all those liberal pinheads into the Pacific! So as you can see, I'm a very confused man. And when I get confused, I watch TV. Television is never confusing. It's all so simple somehow." - Les Nessman, WKRP in Cincinnati
Michele: Carry On, My Wayward Son
“Introducing, the future betrothed of Emperor Augustus!” The curtain parted, causing mummers of anticipation to rise up; weeks of speculation brought the villagers to a fever pitch.
“.....Joseph, my loyal footservant. We’ve been together secretly for six years and I intend to make him my, err....Queen.”
Gasp, screams, even some fainting ensued. Augustus stoically carried on.
“Before you pass judgment, you should know that Wizard Marcotte has cast an enchantment. Anyone who begrudges our happiness aloud will find a dark secret of theirs printed on the front page of the Herald.”
And the villagers prepared for the joyous marriage.
Andy: Recipe for Crime
He passed a note over the counter, looked around to ensure no one noticed, and held out a large sack. The man read the note and, seeing the bulge in the thief’s pocket, began to fill the bag.
From behind, the thief heard running and rotated 180 degrees; his inertia carried him through the full 360. The cop tackled him, plowing them through rows of hot buffet items.
As he was led away, a reporter asked Michael Moore if it was worth it.
From his pocket he pulled out a half-chewed drumstick and dug in. His full-mouthed answer was unintelligible.
(based on the cards of The Tower, The Hermit, and Fortitude, whose themes include disgrace, roguery, and action)
Stacy: Misery, Loss, Secrets
She sobbed uncontrollably, feeling as if her heart was tearing from her body. They lowered the casket into the ground and she tore herself from their grasp, sprawling at the side of the grave, tears falling in time with the drizzling rain.
The minister's voice droned on and on, and she felt hands tugging at her, trying to draw her backwards. She dug her fingers into the mud, watched the casket sink out of view, cursing those who put him there.
She allowed them to stand her up, clean her hands. She nodded at their words, and planned her revenge.