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July 09, 2005

Volume 3, Issue 9

Random word, snitched from the Urban Dictionary:


Kindly ignore the actual documented meaning of the word and go play...

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Michele: I Am Doll Parts

Grace’s father’s last act before he was shot full of holes by a SWAT team was to lay the motel key down on the ground. That’s how they found her, curled up in a dirty blanket , holding the weeks old "Missing" poster of her mother, and screaming “Daliwali, Daliwaliiiii!!

The chief found the doll under the bed. It was swathed in the remnants of a wedding gown, and its face seemed almost familiar. His stomach flipped and lurched as he glanced at the poster in the kid’s hands.

No wonder she loved that daliwali. It had her mother's eyes.



Laurence - In the name of Daliwali

Podcast of this story"Fifty billion" said Thabo, watching the telly of the G-8 press conference.

"That's an awful lot of jack," said Mohammed. He crushed his soda can and tossed it into the wastebasket. "Awful nice of the blokes to offer it up. So, how do we get our mitts on it?"

"We just need a name, a flag, and a big enough bag," said Thabo.

Mohammed reached into the wastebasket.

"Daliwali," he read from the can.

"Pretty." Thabo smiled. "How about the flag?"

Seven hours and two suit rentals later, they were heading to Edinburgh.

All in the good name of Daliwali.


Tanya: Not Gilligan

He'd floated at sea for four days, he reckoned, before finding the island.

After their initial threat, the natives peered closely at him and began shouting "Daliwali! Daliwali!!" Then they filled him with fruit, roasted pork, and mango wine. The lovely island girl who practically raped him the first night indicated happily that the honor had something to do with his flame-red hair, after she discovered by firelight that the color was uniform throughout.

He only wished he could stop thinking of every sitcom ever produced, making him worry that "Daliwali" might have something to do with that nearby volcano...



"Mommy, dolly wolly Molly wants a lolly."

"Honey, we've been through this. Your doll can't talk, it is not a person, it is just plastic and cloth."

"Mommy, dolly wolly Molly wants a lolly."

"Really now, is this any way for a big girl to act?"

"Mommy, dolly wolly Molly wants a lolly."

"Young lady, this is getting silly. You are not an infant. If you want a lollipop, just ask for one. The answer is 'no' but at least you will have been honest."

"Daddy, dolly wolly Molly wants a lolly."

"Sure sugar, but don't let your mother see."


From the Comments: hnumpah

My neighbors have a dog that sings. That wouldn't be so bad, but it only knows one song, the Homer and Jethro version of 'How Much Is That Hound Dawg In The Winder?'. And it's constant, over and over, at all hours of the day and night. It's driving me mad.

The neighbors are a very nice Pakistani couple, and I've asked them several times to either make it stop, or get rid of it, or even teach it some new songs, for variety. Nothing works. So it looks like I'm stuck hearing that singing Daliwali poodle all the day.