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June 11, 2005
Volume 2, Issue 11
Random line, random book:
"I wonder what cannibal cuisine is like?" I say. "Is there a cannibal cookbook?"
(The first book I actually picked up was a Russian dictionary, so consider yourselves lucky.)
Go for it.
Michele: Wackiki
Greg laughed to himself, a low giggle that he tried to disguise by coughing.
"What can you possibly be laughing at?"
"I was just thinking of that Bugs Bunny cartoon where the two guys are stranded and..."
"....They imagine each other as hamburgers and hot dogs," Frank finished.
"Yea," Greg smiles, then sings "We're gonna have roast rabbit...." Frank joins in for a few seconds and then they both trail off into silence.
Night falls and another day without food passes.
“That’s six,” Greg whispers. He lays on the sand, tries to sleep. “Good night Frank.”
“Good night, hamburger.”
“Whaaa...?”
Tanya: Coulrophobia
"I wonder what cannibal cuisine is like?" I say. "Is there a cannibal cookbook?"
"I'm pretty sure all of the recipes involve fava beans."
"And a nice chianti, yeah," I reply. The comfortable silence returns for a few minutes, as he peruses the headlines and I finish reading the article about the rescued hikers, and their traumatic six days in the mountains. Finally I can't resist any longer. "What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal, when they were eating the clown?"
He looks up and raises an eyebrow.
"Does this taste funny to you?"
"Read your paper, dork."
Laurence - Collaborator
"It's a cookbook!" was the last thing Dr. Chambers heard before the spaceship door closed.
The Kanamint had said they were here to serve man.
Quite literally, as dinner.
Chambers sighed, slumped against the wall of the crowded cell, and slept.
He woke up, alone.
The door opened, and a Kanamint wheeled in a cart.
"Your dinner," thoughtcasted the Kanamint.
At first, Chambers wasn't hungry, but the smell was... captivating.
He took the lid off of the tray, tasted a sauce-covered cube, and moaned with delight.
"I must have this recipe," he said. "Delicious!"
Eventually, they made him a chef.
Ted: A Little Knowledge
Winter was getting even colder, and was much longer than they predicted. Those who remained were beginning to starve. When the food was gone, they started to eat the books. Everything from Modern Fiction all the way to Ancient Translations was already gone. Some of the really old books had leather bindings, which made the cravings that much worse. The Head Librarian had earned her place for a reason though. She was tough. She already had killed two of the nuns for complaining. But she still wouldn't let them near the cookbook from the Travel section that she had found.
Andy: Such a Busy Boy Am I
I got nothin' tonight. Nothin' at all. Nothing but a love that dares not speak its name.
Les Nessman... Les Nessman
Hey, I said don't speak its name!
Stacy: Les Nessman Cop Out #4
Partly due to a busy day, and partly to show Andy how exactly to cop out via Les Nessman...
The Buckeye News Hawk Award is the annual radio award given to honor local newsmen in the Cincinnati area on the sitcom WKRP IN CINCINNATI/CBS/1978-82. The award was won five times by the naive yet pompous news director Les Nessman (Richard Sanders), who proudly displayed his five plaque awards on the only wall of his imaginary office. Other awards won by Les were the Silver Sow Award for hog reports and the Silver Soy Bean Award in 1993 given by the Plowing Patriots of Omaha, Nebraska.